Monday, December 17, 2012

This week...and the pretty big shadow cast over from last week

I don't think I could write my weekly "This Week" post without addressing some, rather one horrible event from last week, and I'm sure you're aware of which one I'm talking about.

In April of 1999, I was a 4th grade student at Sanborn Elementary School on April vacation visiting my grandparents in Florida. I remember hearing about Columbine from my parents and subsequently watching the coverage on the television. I was terrified. Not only did I fear something that horrible could happen, I feared that something that horrible might happen to me. I couldn't watch the news, it scared me too much.

This not watching the news trend was one that continued for awhile. I remember I told my father that I didn't want to watch the news because it was scary. A nightly summary of everything horrible that happened near me. Considering it that way, I'm not sure why anyone watches the news.

While I'd like to think I've grown up quite a bit since 4th grade, the news of Friday's shooting hit me in a way I was not quite expecting. As I spent Friday at the office, my co-workers and I attempted to focus on work, while actually listening to the news. I felt this anxious-ness that I could not explain. Each new bit of information sending chills through me. Only this time, unlike last time, I couldn't tear myself away. I had to keep watching and soon, couldn't stop thinking about it.

I think, as our President suggested at, this one struck pretty close to home. The school reminded me of Sanborn and the town, just like my own hometown. And these kids even younger than I was when Columbine happened. I could only imagine the fear that they were going and had gone through. As I continued on throughout the weekend, this anxious-ness still was washed over me. It just felt odd for me to go on about my life when something so horrible had happened. But I realized why I had to: because many of them couldn't.

So, I'm going into this week, with that attitude, to live my life in a way of honoring those who are no longer with us and making their lives matter even more so....and maybe to quit watching the news quite as much, because right now, I kind of agree with my 4th grade self, reality these days is pretty scary.

UPDATED: This morning, I donated to United Way of Western Connecticut and you should too.

This week...

+ I am going to burst out of bed at 8:15 when my alarm goes off ready to take on the day

+ I will enjoy breakfast

+ I am hoping to set up an ING Orange Savings Account

+ I will experience the shortest day of the year

+ I may go skiing Saturday & Sunday

+ I will watch: Love Actually, Bridget Jone's Diary, Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason, The Holiday, Elf, and other holiday time favorites on replay

+ I head home to New England to spend Christmas with my amazing family

+ I plan to give my puppy a big giant hug

+ I am going to ENJOY life


listening: My new favorite song, Hey Ho by the Lumineers
eating: cottage cheese & tomatoes
drinking: water with mint, lemon, cucumber & ginger
wearing: on the right, thinking about removing this one
feeling: still a little anxious
wanting: it to be Friday
needing: family time
thinking: about how long my to do list is...
enjoying: LIFE
wondering: if it's 6pm yet

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